137 pounds.

I weighed myself yesterday. 137 pounds. It's the first time I weighed myself since being back home in Chicago. There I weighed in at about 145 pounds. I wasn't as lean as I am now but I was a lot stronger. The reason I'm bringing this up is because a lot of people have been commenting (to me in person, because you assholes don't know how to leave comments on this) about the pictures I've put up (especially the Hot ones). I'll let you know I'm doing alright and eating just fine. Actually, I'm eating more than ever which has been really fun and amazing! (That's what single lonely people do besides the other cool stuff Humans are capable of doing.) Here is what I ate yesterday:

Yogurt
Salad with a can of tuna (in olive oil)
A huge amount of nuts and raisins. (To the point where I had to lay down because I had such a bad stomach ache. I don't know how you gay guys do it. Nuts give me tummy issues...)
A half bag of Baked Jalapeno Cheese Crunchies
Soy Chorizo and 3 Eggs. (Soy chorizo because the real chorizo I've found does not compare to the shit we have in Chicago. I'm still on the hunt!)

See? My food game is on point.

Seeing what I weighed actually kind of bummed me out. Not because I give a shit about the number. Because of this...

I'm about 5'6", at least that's what they told me when I had good health insurance. If you notice the chart I'm about the size of a Medium Framed woman who is 5'6". Luckily I like the little brown girls with...well you get the point. I'm not exactly sure what "Medium Frame" means but I do like girls that are shorter than me (when you're this small, anything that makes you feel a little bit more like a man is a gift). I just don't know if a Large Framed 5'0" woman is something that interests me. Does that mean she's built like a beach ball? I know you're probably saying, "Marty you don't have to date a woman that weighs the same as you." And you're right. But here are 3 of my most serious Life Rules.

1) Never trust anyone as brown or browner than you.
2) Never touch a woman who weighs more than you.
3) If you eat Chipotle today. Make sure tomorrow's schedule is completely free. And make sure the toilet paper is soft.

So you see it is important. I guess my worst case scenario (a woman that weighs as much as me) is going to be a Large Framed mama that is in between 5'0"-5'5". Or. I could gain some weight and not be such a little bitch anymore. Nah. Ain't gonna happen.