The Great Seat Debate.

It's common courtesy to put the seat down when finishing up a trip to the bathroom. Those who aspire to respect the unwritten rules of society should make it a goal of theirs to never forget to put the seat down when invited into someone else's home. I grew up in a house of mostly males (my mom being the only female) so I never really consciously thought that it would be nice of me to put the seat down so my mother wouldn't have to. I noticed that my friends who have sisters did it without even thinking twice. As I've gotten myself to do it the majority of the time, I have run into a serious problem.

I'm the type of person that makes a comment to someone coming out of the bathroom almost every time I'm given the opportunity. Awkward comments such as, "Is it safe to go in there?" or, "What took so long?" is my way of reassuring that complete strangers are not going to be lining up in hopes of talking to me anytime soon. It's hillbilly of me I know, but sometimes I just can't help myself. With my awkward comments comes great regret. If it is indeed not at all safe to go into the bathroom I've often found myself in quite the predicament. When a bathroom is "bombed out" by the previous bathroom-goer (what I like to call "Stranger Danger") I find myself unable to carry out the duties I desired to perform because of the anxiety caused by what the people after me are going to think. Instead of going to the bathroom, which was my original intent for the bathroom trip, I begin plotting on how I'm going to get the stranger smell out so I won't be blamed with ruining the party. It may sound crazy but I have tried vents, windows, and even the highly effective washing hands a half dozen times with shampoo. (If you use shampoo in these situations instead of the regular hand soap you'll notice that the scent is much stronger and has a chance to cover up bomb smell.) My last signature move to make sure the next person doesn't think I was the one who let loose on the bowl is to leave the seat up.

Insecurity has gotten the best of me in these situations and I may be wrong to fulfill my selfish attitude to not be blamed for anything that shouldn't be discussed at a party anyways, but what other choice do I have? Oh yea, the choice of putting the seat down and being confident enough to not worry about what people think of bathroom smells in a...bathroom. I guess this book never really resonated with me: