My last post about Kim Jong-il. (Maybe.)

Kim Jong-il probably thinking, "Not that big."

Over the past few years I've talked about how much I love Kim Jong-il. His love of Michael Jordan, his status of being the biggest buyer of Hennessy (what you rappers know bout that?), his bed made out of women (again, what you rappers know bout that?), his world record golf score (38 under par!), the fact that he invented the hamburger, and of course, his steeeeeeez! All these things made me love him. I aspired to be as cool as him. I mean he built a city just to be looked at. Gangster? Yessir!

But even though Kim Jong-il had the bitches (not the internet, they don't have the internet in North Korea) going nuts, and even though I'm still on the hunt for those sunglasses, I have to admit: He was a total fucking sonofabitch asshole. 

The saddest thing about Kim Jong-il's funeral procession was that people showed up. Some were probably forced to show up and some are probably so brainwashed they chose to show up either to upkeep appearances or because they actually think he's better than Tiger Woods (he's still good) at golf. Either way it's really devastating. 

I've often heard that you should never celebrate Death. I think that's bullshit. As I'm sure Wesley Snipes probably said in some movie, "Never say never." North Korea is a total fucking mess. When I think about it (and I often do) I really can't believe a place like it exists. How can we let a country exist that is filled with nothing but torture, agony, and delusions (sounds like my "About Me" on Facebook)? People are brainwashed and left for dead. I've read stories of labor camps where people are so desperate they have to eat the corn kernels out of logs of shit. Human logs of shit. I don't believe everything I read but when it comes to North Korea, I almost never doubt it. Why should we not celebrate Kim Jong-il's death? He was the cause of an undeniable amount of pain and suffering that will surely last a very long time. Him and his daddy killed Happiness in North Korea. That might be gangster, but it sure as hell ain't cool.

P.S. I wonder what Kim Jong-il wants in heaven (I don't believe in heaven). When you've had a bed made out of women in your actual life, I can imagine it's kind of hard to upgrade...

Maybe he asked for two beds made out of women. Or like a couch made out of women. Or like a recliner made out of women. Or like a toilet made out of women. Nevermind.

Steve Jobs.

I just got done reading Steve Jobs' biography. I swear if the shortest, fattest guy I've ever seen wasn't standing in front of me cheering me up by existing, I would have shed some tears.

I always thought Steve Jobs was a cool and interesting guy but I didn't really know much about him. I wasn't one to sit around and watch his new product launches, I never really read anything about him, and I was always taken aback by the sound of his voice. The passion, the drive, the intelligence, the excitement, the fascination, the artistry should not be ignored. He changed the world.

One thing that Walter Isaacson hammers into the reader's brain is that Steve Jobs made no compromises. He had a vision and tried everything in his power to make that vision a reality. No matter what. At times he would berate people and come off as an asshole. And I'm sure there are a million things about him that would have pissed me off if I was fortunate enough to meet him. I kept asking myself, did his genius give him the right to be an asshole? No. Probably not. But should he have apologized for it? No. Definitely not.

Almost everything that I've read about Steve Jobs the past few months has been more than insightful, more than inspiring, and more than meaningful. It's been life changing. That may sound dramatic. Good.

I'm not claiming to know anything about computers or technology just because I read some book and know how to use an iPod and a laptop. Or if the open hardware/software model that Windows follows is better and more useful than the closed Apple model. But I do know that the things Jobs created are fucking awesome. Nothing less.

When I first started writing this blog I was obsessed with the idea of being as perfect as possible. Is that childish? Maybe. So many people ask, "Well what the fuck does that mean?" I know what it means for me but I have no idea what it means for you. That's the way it should be. Even though many people say Steve Jobs was an asshole and a tyrant, I can't help but smile, knowing that he made no excuses for who he was. He was human. An awesome one. As perfect as it gets.

Happy Holidays!

I don't really ever ask for anything for the holidays. This year, I will. Appreciate the time you spend with your friends and family. I unwisely decided to skip the holidays this year (and last) to work and sit around by myself. No matter how much I enjoy being with my own thoughts, I've slowly come to realize that you should always appreciate the time you spend with the ones you love. Like everything in this life, it won't last forever.

I really hope this shit ain't too spicy. I never buy the nice toilet paper.

My dad (yes, my dad) decided to knit me a really colorful scarf. I love it. My brother finally couldn't take any more of my complaints about the food in NYC and sent me some Chicago giardiniera. Now I just need some Vienna hot dogs, Italian beefs, and badass pizza to put it on. (The United States Postal Service works just fine, wink wink.)

I wish all of you a Happy Holiday. Hopefully this upcoming year I'll get back to blogging with the vigor I had when 2011 started. Stay tuned and stay swell.

- Marty

Occupy Yosemite National Park.

It has been reported that Occupy Yosemite National Park is in full-effect. In a solidarity stand against Corporate America,  the protestors have decided to do even less until the economy is fixed before they go back to doing nothing. When asked what "doing less" means when you're already doing nothing, one protestor said, "We're spending even less of our own money. We're washing our hair less. We just give less of a fuck. I hate my DAD!" Their claims don't seem to make much sense. The apparent 12 year-old dreadlocks made it obvious that they never planned on washing their hair anyways, and their "hair" sure wasn't any "less" disgusting.

Where's a forest fire when you need one?