Saturday, April 28, 2012

Let's Go Bulls!

The Bulls are back baby! Believe. For two straight seasons the Bulls have had the best record in the NBA. Derrick Rose has led the way, but his strong supporting cast of Luol Deng, Joakim Noah, an unbelievable coach, a fantastic bench, and not Carlos Boozer shouldn't be overlooked or taken for granted. I was extremely excited about these playoffs and I'm still intrigued on how all of this is going to play out. After watching Rose go down in what appeared to be a tremendous amount of pain, I knew that a new Bulls storyline from these playoffs would begin. I knew right then and there that his season was over. His season.

Step yo game up Boozer.
The thing about injuries is that they always happen but you never expect them and never want to accept them. I've made jokes about all of the "aggravated groin" injuries that plagued the Bulls all season. Should we be surprised Rip Hamilton started off the season with sore balls? Do you remember the last team he played for? The Detroit Pistons. If you didn't know, that team plays in, yep, you guessed it, Detroit. Now I didn't memorize the 2012 Ho-Rankings for The Lower 48 but I can say with strong certainty that Detroit is definitely on the Lower part of that list. So he moves to a new city with better looking hoez and he smacks his balls on some of them too aggressively (he was in Detroit for a long time) and ends up walking like he just got done riding a horse for a month straight. (A lot of the women in Chicago are comparable to horses only in weight, lord knows them bitches can't run.) So we sat around and waited, uncertain what Rip could do for the team. Luol Deng has had a bum wrist all season. Torn ligament. I believe this was actually a basketball injury unless I've got him all wrong and he's up late behind dumpsters passing out HJ's to new, lonely friends. (My guess is that you use your weak hand in those situations so you're not constantly reminded of it when you pick up a pen, peel a banana, take the lid off a jar, etc.) CJ Watson was taking all kinds of treatments for his battle wounds. Then there were all of the Rose injuries. The turf toe, the back, the ankle, all of them. But with all of these injuries to all these players, each and every one of us sat back and said, "Well that's alright. As long as they're ready for the playoffs." As long as Derrick Rose is ready for the playoffs. Even if you were extremely worried that he wasn't going to get enough rest and the schedule was too hard on his body because of his All In style of play, you still managed to lie to yourself just the right amount so you could go into the postseason thinking, "The Bulls are warriors. We won all of those games without him and now he's back and we're ready to go all the way." Then he went down and reality crept back in. And we have to accept it.

I sat around and watched almost every single Bulls game this season (and many other seasons) and I'm extremely disappointed that our King isn't going to lead the team into battle. But when I look back on what happened this season, I can't allow myself to be surprised.Yes, the Bulls have an incredible team (TEAM, not 3 pussies supported by a bunch of D-leaguers) but they've been beat up. Even when Rose came back from all of those injuries he didn't seem like the Rose we've come to know and love. Don't get me wrong, he was still excellent, but that's because he's one of the most talented players in the world and even at 75%  he can outshine the best of them. But I was always on edge watching him, hoping that everything would be alright.

(Side note: The only thing Bulls fans should be surprised about is that Kyle Korver didn't get a groin injury all year. Look at that guy. He must have plowed through 94% of the city by now. Then again, if he's attracted to physically fit chicks, that mean's he's gotten laid three or four times in the past couple of seasons. Sucks to have standards!)

And if you think Coach Thibodeau should be fired, please move to a different city and kill yourself. He's the best coach in the league and the best thing to happen to the Bulls (besides Rose) for a very long time. He's passionate, hard working, extremely intelligent, and looks like he knows all the best pizza places. And I hope the rumors are true. I hope he is gay. Maybe some of you faggots will be more accepting of others who may not live exactly the way you live. Anyways, what's not to like about the guy? So the Bulls were up with a minute and a half to go. Don't play that game. Rose needed to get back into game shape by finishing teams off in the final minutes. These are the playoffs. Fear should never be a part of the game plan. "As long as he's back for the playoffs." Well he was back and it's the playoffs and he's getting paid to destroy the opposition. He needs to be on the floor at the end of games to do that. Extend Thibodeau's contract today. 

The playoffs are still going to be fun to watch. I am a Bulls fan. I love Derrick Rose. (After he went down today I sank into my seat and stared into oblivion until...well, I'm still kind of lost.) But the Bulls are the team I grew up watching and cheering for. I'm glad he's a part of it, but that's exactly it, he's a PART of it. It's still going to be an amazing run. I'm still looking forward to yelling at Boozer, screaming at everyone to give the ball to Deng, being amazed that Rip can still shoot the ball so well, cheering on the little guy John Lucas, hoping Noah slaps somebody, and wondering why Scalabrine is on the team. But seriously, why is he on the team? I think they should hold a raffle every year. $100 for a ticket and you can only buy one. Must be at least 18. Money goes to charity. A name is picked and you're the last guy (or girl) on the Bulls roster. Winner also gets paid $1 million. You also have to have a Chicago address (Fuck You suburbs). Think about it. Every single person in Chicago would get really into it and get behind whoever got picked. Fat lady that can't run. Can't wait to see her sitting next to Noah taunting the Heat. Mexican city worker that doesn't know anything about basketball. That locker room is going to love those tamales. Girl that is kind of unbelievably hot. Put her in Coach! Let's see how many groin injuries the other team racks up. That's if Rip Hamilton doesn't get to her first. 

Today I felt like my house burned down. But these playoffs aren't over and next season Derrick Rose will come back stronger than ever. The Chicago Bulls will be alright. I promise.

Get well soon Derrick Rose. Your city needs you.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Boston City.

Leaving New York City always seems like a good idea to me but never materializes because I'm too broke to fly to the badass places I'd love to visit and because I'm lazy. Mostly because I'm lazy. Sitting around and pretending to be working hard on my passion isn't very fun but it requires very little effort and planning. It just requires sitting, staring, and a little bit of lying/exaggerating. I'll take it.

This past weekend I got my ass on a bus and made the long-procrastinated trip to Boston/Cambridge to visit Conor. We've been good friends since high school and I'm always curious to see how much old friends' lives differ from my own. What I'm doing (nothing, I just moved to a different city to not do it in) is a lot different than what most people I know do. Conor decided to pursue his goals by continuing his education at Harvard and rack up design competition wins, an awesome diverse group of friends, and continue a stellar academic career. He's going to do big things. He's all in. And I couldn't be more proud of the guy.

I got to Cambridge at about 1 a.m. and met up with Conor at a house party. He warned me that parties at Harvard tend to be toned down versions of the parties we frequented in Urbana but I couldn't have cared less. I saw 2 or 3 thin-enough girls that looked like they might talk to me if I was smooth enough/quick enough to corner them and that's always more than enough for me. In reality, the only girl I talked to was extremely weird and I only stayed in the conversation to be nice. Yes. I can lie and plaster on a smile with the best of them. Don't let all the bitterness and bullshit that comes out of my face fool you. The night was a success. I got to meet Conor's crew and get an idea of how the future leaders of the world (that's what Harvard graduates are right?) get down on a Friday night.

Me and Jan hanging out with Dongsei, Luke, and Kees. These guys work on projects when they're hungover. I can't even do that when I'm not hungover.
On Saturday, Conor gave me a quick tour around Boston and we met up with another Northside College Prep graduate, Mr. Lew Jan. Conor and Jan hadn't seen each other since high school so there was a lot of catching up to do which basically meant Conor and I listened to Jan talk for 2 days straight. Seriously. If he didn't eat $95.00 worth of Indian food on Saturday night, I would say it was the most impressive thing I saw him do. $95.00. Now let's spend a few minutes laughing at what he liked to do on his wedding day.

If you have a bald/Polish fetish then go nuts. You deserve it.
The best thing I did in Boston was go to a Celtics-Heat game. Originally we had no plans to go to a game but since tickets were offered and we well-rested after a calm Saturday night, it seemed like a great idea. When else would I get the opportunity to see two teams I despise kill each other? Actually, probably every day since I hate every team that isn't from Chicago.

The Garden's atmosphere is seriously unmatched. I love the Bulls but I think there is something kind of shitty about the United Center. It feels like a mall and the way it's lit makes me feel like I'm there to see the Chicago Symphony Orchestra instead of Derrick Rose, Joakim Noah, and the rest of the boys from The Chicago Fucking Bulls (excluding Carlos Boozer, I'm never there to see that bum). I also think WGN has something to do with my opinion of the United Center. Stacey King is amazing but their broadcasts are way too quiet. It sounds as if 14 people and Boozer are the only ones that are mic'd. The Garden felt far different. Everything was really well lit, the stupid games they played on the JumboTron were far more entertaining, the dancers were hotter, and the (approx.) 100+ championship banners they have hanging over everyone's heads make you feel like you are a part of something incredible. I fucking hate the Celtics. And I don't like the Heat. But the Garden is the place to watch a basketball game. And LeBron was complete garbage.

I'm actually not wearing all black. I promise.
All in all, Boston was a hit. The city was alright, I wouldn't go out of my way to make a huge trip there but having good company there helped and there are definitely some very charming things about it. It always helps when you're surrounded by a bunch of All-Stars that know how to have a good time. Next time I'll be sprinting after Harvard girls.

And the best thing I did in Boston will go unmentioned. My mom reads this. There is one thing I came away wondering though. If they make so much money, why do they only buy "cheap" perfume?

Whatever it is...smells pretty damn good to me.

See you soon Conor + The Harvard Boys!