What you lookin' at?

Yakhouba Diawara along with the rest of the Miami Heat were in town last weekend to get beat by Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah. I was sitting on a bench minding my own business listening to the coolest dudes in Hip-Hop when Diawara's big ass walked past me. While I was busy contemplating the fairness in the fact that it's scientifically possible that he can be so big and I can be so pathetically small, he glanced at me calmly. I didn't think anything of it until he walked two more steps and did a quick double-take with a refreshed look of bewilderment. For a week I've been trying to figure out why he looked at me in such a way. "Whoa, look at how fresh that dude is!" or was it (and I think this is what it actually was) "Holy hell, how can you fit so much insecurity in such a little ass dude?!"

Well Mr. Diawara I'll tell you. Actually no I won't because you average 0.7 point per game. That means when you shoot the ball, it goes 70% of the way down the basket before it realizes who you are then comes out, which I must say is pretty magical but doesn't really contribute to Dwayne Wade's quest for another ring. And what the hell are you doing wearing your warmup suit 6 hours before the game? I know it's your version of the business suit because it never comes off during prime time, but can't you at least wear something else when you're out shopping? It's going to be pretty weird when it gets too warm in the mall and you have to take off the jacket and the only thing you have on under it is your jersey. People are going to ask, "What's up with this guy? Is he on his way to a pickup game at the YMCA or something?" That would be the best response. The more realistic response would be, "Is that dude on the Miami Heat so insecure he needs to wear his warmups while he's out so he'll get some public recognition?"

Is that what it is? If so, where the hell can I buy the Miami Heat warmups?