A perfect holiday treat.

I watched this movie out of pure curiosity the other night. I really didn't know what to expect. I hadn't heard anything about it but I saw a shot of it a while back and remembered thinking, "What is going on here?" If I would have seen the above picture I might have avoided it altogether. If you can get through the first part (there are some very disturbing peter scenes) you will be heavily rewarded with some really cool ideas and all-around ridiculousness. So on this lonely Sunday night, get your weirdo on and take a peak.

Straight Clubbin' It.

I am not one for clubs. I just don't see myself fitting in with a bunch of pretty people lying to themselves and to each other. But yesterday I found myself in one and it wasn't really all that I expected. First of all it wasn't as crowded as I thought it would be. When I hear the word "club" I automatically assume there is nothing but shitloads of hair gel and cologne, but for the most part the people seemed to be alright...which means I hated them. (That's one of the upsides of hating everyone, you're never disappointed because you never have high expectations. Idiocy is inevitable.) The music was just the same as everything else you normally hear, Top 40 hits. The drinks weren't too expensive and there were some cute girls. So all in all, it just seemed like any other Going Out experience.

But there is one thing that really sort of shocked me.

I finally figured out where Asian people hang out. I meant to ask my buddy if there were normally that many Engineering majors at this particular club but I never got around to it. They were all bright pink, only talking to other slanty-eyed folks, and all secretly wishing they were white. It was really unbelievable. I had so many questions but I didn't feel like penetrating The Great Wall (they were huddled close) and asking. I guess those questions will go unanswered. So who would have thought, you can learn things at clubs!

What I really learned was this. Even when I'm totally hammered out of my mind, I still can't stand Asians.

A fool's holiday, yesterday.

Yesterday was April Fools' Day which is pretty self-explanatory. In my opinion, every day seems like a celebration for fools. But either way, I didn't get played for a fool and didn't hear anyone say, "JUST KIDDING, APRIL FOOLS!" Although I did see several individuals walking around with their shirts off which is far worse. There are very few places where it is acceptable to walk around with your shirt off. A few that come to mind are 1) the beach (unfortunately), 2) your bedroom as long as you're alone or everyone else is cool with it, 3) the shower or bathroom (if you're dumping and it's hot), 4) the doctor's office, 5) the gay parade (maybe), 6) when you're jumping off a cliff to end it all because you finally realized you were walking around in the middle of a city with you're god damn shirt off. I can't really think of too many more. The reason I know that these people weren't playing an April Fools' joke on everyone is because there were a good amount of people that had their shirts off today. The date doesn't matter, fools will be fools.
Speaking of which. I ran into this dude yesterday. Senator Roland Burris. He's tiny, and I'm almost positive he had this exact suit on. It may be 25 years old but it still fits perfectly.