Dog Walking.

Rain or shine, Chance and I will play ball like there is no tomorrow.

When people ask me what I do, I always laugh before I tell them. "I walk dogs." It's not a nervous laugh or an embarrassed laugh. It's just because it sounds ridiculous to me. If you would have asked me a year ago what I knew about dog walking I would have replied, "Put a leash on a dog and move your fucking feet."

During the past two months I've learned that walking dogs is much more than that. I grew up with numerous dogs (Suki, Peekaboo, Daisy (I miss you all), now LuLu, Reggie, and CoCo (The Pug Family)) and always enjoyed having them around. But now when I look back on it, I realize that I took all of them for granted. I used to make fun of people who gave their dogs a lot of attention. I either thought they were lonely, weak, pathetic, or boring. And maybe some of them were. But who isn't?

After spending most of my time with many different dogs the past few weeks I've noticed that there seems to be something more than just "escaping" reality or problems through affection towards a dog. When I watch people interact with their dogs I almost always see their best selves. They smile, they talk, they play, and sometimes they act so ridiculous I am embarrassed for them. The people do these things. And they're not embarrassed. Not at all. I might even say they're happy. They seem to let go of all the built up worry and anxiety that comes with living in a hectic city where almost everyone takes themselves a little too seriously. But they're not escaping this reality. They're just reminded that there are simple things in life that can bring smiles to their faces and all of that other bullshit that keeps them up at night probably shouldn't mean all that much.

Somebody got a haircut.

I hate people. I really do. The constant lying (to themselves and to everyone else), the show they're putting on for everyone, the apathy, the laziness, the sense of entitlement, I can go on for days. And I'm no better. But when I see people interact with their dogs, I quickly forget all of these things. They seem to take on the innocence of their four-legged friends. And what can I say, the bitterness fades for a moment and I'm happy for them.

Oh yea. What the fuck is up with this idea of being able to pick up chicks if you're walking dogs? There were no instructions on that during my 3 weeks of training. How do I get from, "Oh my god, your dog is so cute!" to, "Get your face out of that. That's an out hole and I ate Taco Bell earlier"? Sure, people come up to me and pet the dogs and ask questions. And sometimes those people are cute chicks. But how the hell has it ever, in the history of mankind, lead to a date then to a night full of mistakes and weird smells. I haven't read that guy Mystery's ("The Pickup Artist") books but I can't imagine there is a chapter on "From Hello Doggy to Doggy Style." Actually there probably is. Am I so not cool that I can't even get 1 chick after walking 15+ dogs a day. I haven't even gotten a number. No missed connection. Nothing. Does that make me 15 times the loser? That's 15 times the loser each day, 5 days a week, 75 times the loser, weekly? I mean, I guess I understand that talking about a dog is a good excuse to initiate a conversation with someone, I just don't understand how it goes from that to R. Kelly. Does anyone have any advice? Or should I just sign up for OK Cupid already and shut the fuck up?

Don't answer that.

This little dude was hanging out in a messenger bag.  I asked his owner if the dog enjoyed being in the bag. "Wouldn't you love somebody carrying you around all day?" Yea. But only if his name is Charles Barkley. What can I say, that guy looks like he can give an awesome piggy back ride.

Tail-or Gang!