Yoga and Boners. But mostly Yoga.

There is something about people who are really into yoga that I can't stand. I'm not opposed to yoga. I've done it a handful of times and have enjoyed myself. I just find the people who are really passionate about it super annoying. I think it has to do with the fact that the majority of the people look like yuppies. (Their skin color is implied.) Or maybe it's the fact that they preach about it like it's some higher form of religion. Whatever it is, I think it's a shame because I know if these people didn't bother me so much I'd probably do it more often. What do I expect? Gucci and Juicy J spending their afternoons perfecting their Downward-Facing Dog pose? They might not ever do it. But I'm sure they've got all the tips on how to perfect it....

Mmmhmmm....

Recently I was reading about all of the terrible things yoga can do to your life. I wasn't shocked at the horror stories. I expected them. What did shock me was the fact that so many people never considered the dangers of doing headstands and twisting your body so your stomach touches your asshole while breathing calmly and making sure your eyeballs don't shoot out of their sockets. But even though there are risks, there are a ton of benefits. It can be relaxing, you can prevent injury, you can strengthen your core (and possibly your mind, unless your mind is like mine, then you have no chance), and a million other things. This is one thing I read that I thought was really interesting...

Are there people out there acting on that stimulation in class? If so...playa pimp fo' real!

OK. Yoga may do a ton of things. But let's not get fucking ridiculous. YOUR own movements and poses aren't the reason your sex life might be revitalized. The chick in front of you with her asshole hangin' out. The way she bends over and does the splits and wraps her own leg around her head. HER movements are the reason your sex life is revitalized. Yeah, and she ain't even wearing any clothes. I'm going to go out on a limb (plank position) and say those are the real reasons you're rockin' that pants tent.

Yoga should be a spectator sport. My (imagined) sex life is revitalized. And I haven't moved a muscle. Thanks Yoga!