The Only Business Model.

Everybody keeps talking about the recession. People aren't driving as much, aren't buying as many clothes, aren't going out as much, aren't picking up as many hookers...well...maybe. I'm not sure I buy into all of that nonsense but one thing I do know is that there is a certain business model that will work no matter what the economic climate is. The best business model. Or at least the only business model that leaves me powerless every single time. I call it the, "SuperModel Business Model." It makes sense right?

Whenever you see any sort of advertisement promoting something masculine, the majority of the time there is a hardbody promoting it. And it always works. This isn't a new discovery by any stretch of the imagination but it must be said that it leaves most pathetic dudes powerless (I fit into that category most of the time). "Men want her, women want to be her," is a strategy that has been around since cave drawings. (Let me tell you some of them cavemen used to get quite lonely in those caves and their drawings showed it.) When a woman sees a perfect looking model wearing a dress, they trick themselves into believing the dress can make them just as pretty. They forget the fact that the pictures are airbrushed, the models are anorexic and unhappy, and the models are, well, models. Models = People who have nothing else to offer to the world besides their looks. And God bless em.

The only reason I bring this up is because I've noticed that when I go shopping and the SuperModel flirts with the sole intention of selling something, I still fall for it. Basically, what I'm trying to say is, this business model will work on every pathetic person out there, man or woman. And we all know there isn't a shortage of pathetic people.

Maybe if Joan Crawford was a little more attractive I'd start smoking.

Fat City.

I'm sure this will be a recurring theme on this blog but it is unavoidable.

I never really found fat people jokes very entertaining mostly because they are too easy and they're not really all that funny. But the idea of living in a world that is designed for fat people is indeed a total joke. I can see it now, people reminiscing about the days when there used to be a shirt size called a "Small." Or remembering a thing called the Olympics when people would run and move in ways that are no longer possible. Etc. Ridiculous? Of course it is but so is the idea of having a nightclub strictly for fat people which is now a reality.

Some sociologists make the point that if fat people feel more comfortable in their surroundings and have more confidence they will work harder to shed pounds and live healthier. I can see the logic that goes into this thinking but I think it ignores one main thing that should be considered: REALITY. This thinking isn't entirely backwards, but knowing how lazy and pathetic many Americans are, it seems a bit ridiculous to think people will actually start to take care of themselves and work hard at staying healthy just because they have a bit more confidence. If people become more comfortable being lazy and unhealthy and it is more widely accepted, won't they just sit back and pop in another easy bake pizza and enjoy their night watching "Dancing With The Stars?"

You know, I would like to sit around and eat pizza and pecan pie all day but I would also like to be able to walk down the street without running out of breath. I am also sympathetic to those who aren't privileged enough to afford healthy foods and gym memberships but I don't really think they are spending too much of their time and money out at the club just trying to fit in.

All you can do is sigh.

Club Bounce.

Wes Montgomery.

I don't normally listen to too much Jazz even though I'm sure a lot of is totally awesome and worth listening to. Wes Montgomery plays the guitar so effortlessly and smooth (finger pickin' with just a thumb, ya dig?). Meanwhile, most of us have to suffer listening to Conor Oberst and a bunch of other pansies sing about problems they wish they had.

Mr. Montgomery keeps it more real.

Simple Design.

This idea is really cool on a number of levels. We need the people who designed this to think of a way to get these awesomely fat Americans to leave the house so they can have a chance at fun like this.

Dim-twits.

TWITTER DEE, TWITTER DUMB: Barkley says tweets are for losers

Here's something that Quick Hits happened upon -- on Twitter -- from the Dan Patrick syndicated radio show regarding NBA analyst/Hall of Famer Charles Barkley and his thoughts on Twitter:

''First of all, I'm not a damn loser. I don't twitter. I think twittering and all that Facebook crap just makes you a loser. I've never said to myself, 'I wonder what what's-his-name is doing today.' Shaquille O'Neal is one of my favorite people, I love him like a brother, but I've never said to myself, 'Let me twitter Shaquille O'Neal. I wonder what he's doing today.'''

Barkley, on whether Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan tweet:

''I hope not. I hope they've got a life. Anybody who sits around and worries about what somebody else is doing and you're following somebody else around, clearly makes you just a loser in my mind. The Facebook stuff is stupid. People who sit around and worry about what some celebrity is doing, that's just ignorant to me. I truly believe that. I'm not trying to be funny or anything. Somebody has no life when they're sitting there worrying about what somebody has to say. Like, 'Oh, yeah, I'm at this place eating or I'm at this place today.' That just makes you a loser.''

From from www.suntimes.com

True Beauty.

There are artists out there that are paid millions of dollars to make things that very few (powerful) people love. As Larry David would say, "Pretension masquerading as Art." Jeff Koons is the first to come to mind but definitely not the only artist who can fall under this category. I'm not really even sure it's fair to call Jeff Koons pretentious. Everything these days needs to be an abstraction of an abstraction, leaving the viewer unbelievably confused. It is truly sad.

Then there are those who simply inspire.


Absolutely amazing.

Check out the website here.