Sometimes, as I look at my father an overwhelming feeling of disgust comes over me. The glare that is produced from his hairless head is reminiscent of a crystal ball. I'm looking into the future. A few years ago when I realized that baldness never skips a generation, I started to worry that being bald would push me over the top. Too many insecurities can only lead to one path...marriage, then a family, and the rest of the "Unhappy Formula" that is continually pursued by so many. As my hair falls out, I begin to wonder if baldness is that last piece that is going to be stacked onto an overwhelmingly overloaded game of Topple. I see the pieces of my life crashing down, then spontaneously combusting, then pissed on...by a frat brother wearing a backwards hat and a LiveStrong bracelet.
But at the same time I also see it as an opportunity. It's just one more thing to complain about, and we all know how much I love a good thing to complain about. It is really a big deal to go bald? I'm starting to think hair on guys is optional. But as I think that, I'm quickly humbled by remembering that having money isn't optional. And lord knows I don't have any of that either.
Oh yea, I just remembered that hair follicle genetics come from the mother's side. Well then, I look at my balder than shit Grandpa and being to wonder, "Will I ever win?"
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