Bad Broads Networking.

I know I probably shouldn't listen to other people's conversations. Actually, why shouldn't I? Why shouldn't any of us? I hope the meaning of life is to continuously prove that you are better than everyone around you. Right? I sure hope so. A few days ago I overheard two model chicks talking. Now I should let you know that the extent of any conversation I've had with girls that are good looking enough to get paid for it, has been somewhat brief. Actually, it's not even a conversation. It's not even a sentence. It's not even a glance. It's not even...a thing that exists. So please understand my fascination with listening to what supermodels talk about. Oh yea, I should mention I'm talking about female supermodels. I just assume male models talk about hair gel and boning other male models.

So I was standing outside of a restaurant waiting for a friend when two models (very tall, very thin, and very pretty) came up and stood right next to me. They must have thought I was a bike stand or something. Anyways, I started to listen to their conversation. The first thing I heard was, "Well after dinner I have to go to the Upper East Side for a networking thing I'm..." That's the last thing I heard. A "networking thing." What the hell is going on in this world? When the hell does a supermodel have to network? Well I'm sure people say, "It's still hard work." Take my advice. If you really think modeling is HARD WORK. Take the business end of a dildo and pound it over your skull as many times as physically possible. Why a dildo? Because it's more degrading. Now I'm not saying it's easy to become a super successful model whose picture is all over billboards and magazines. Sure that is difficult. But the work involved, the actual modeling part, give me a goddamn dilly dang break.

Olivia Wilde is married to the son of a prince. How did you get there Mrs. Wilde? Was it at a speed-dating networking function? No. It's because you bad. You real bad.

Models networking. I thought the only networking models had to do was shut the fuck up and look real good. Seriously if models need to network what the hell kind of chance does a guy that looks and acts like me have? I can be as charming and witty (and bitter) as humanly possible but in the end, the really hot girl is always going to beat me. At just about everything besides a donut eating contest and an "I hate the world" contest. It'd be a photo finish in an "I have daddy issues" contest.

Bar Refaeli has got the hottest dude in the game wearin' her chain. That's right. Was Leo really captivated by the way you put sentences together? Did you have to talk a lot of bullshit about yourself to get him to notice you and give you his card? No. Look at that pose. When you got that pose in your repertoire...fuck a network.

So I think the only thing I've learned about supermodel conversation: They talk about a fantasy world.

That sounds about right.

I'm sure this little dude is going to help move this girl's life and career forward. Well, at least I know she's moving his life forward. Godspeed to puberty and lots of balled up Kleenxes!

P.S.

There are plenty more where that came from.