Play Pretty.: Kingz With Crownz.

Since fashion is so important in this city it's hard not to pay attention to the way everyone is dressed. The all black errr-thang gets old quick, mostly because the only way people rock it here is with shit-house looks on their faces as if they are changing lives with their presence. I went to an open-call a few weeks ago to see what it would be like. I was one of the only people (out of probably 50) that wasn't wearing predominantly black. Two more reasons I hate it: 1) Because most of these geeks who think they're cool can't pull it off. 2) Because I hate being reminded of funerals especially by people who are deathly skinny. Get those damn cloves/cigarettes out of my face and eat a burger you punk bitches.

I've never witnessed so many black outfits in my life. But I've also never witnessed so many Hasids either. And they are the Kings and Queens of all black errr-thang. I don't place them in the same group as the previously mentioned schmucks (that's not to say I don't place them into another group) because of one thing: Shtreimels. When I first saw one I couldn't take my eyes off of it. It was almost as shocking as that one time I saw that black dude that had no rhythm. Almost. I am/was amazed.

I did more research into shtreimels than I did in all of my classes in college combined. After finding dozens of postings of Hasidic Jew Halloween costumes (offensive!) I finally found a blog that said these hats can cost up to $5000. BALLA!!! Now I don't know why they settled on this design way back in the day. I can't imagine somebody said, "Well if we made it look like a furry tire we could flip it over and use it as a doggy or kitty bed, or we could use it as a nice comfortable seat on picnics!" Either way, I've noticed that all kinds of ladies have started wearing them as an accessory. But if these things cost G's shouldn't G'z be rocking them? I think I know of a few Kings that need crowns.