I Have So Many Questions.

This is the stencil the police departments have to save time when they are starting to sketch a kiddie fiddler suspect.

Today on the train I saw a priest mouthing passages from the Good Book, no not a Stieg Larsson "The Girl Who Got Back At Her Father By Writing Haiku In Her LiveJournal" title, but from the Word of the Lord. (By the way, I know I say this a lot but that title could very well be the title of my autobiography...so many to choose from). Even though I usually despise people who show off their religious beliefs, I found myself unusually charmed by this Man of the Cloth. He seemed very passionate about his beliefs and even though he wasn't very subtle with his gestures, he wasn't over the top and wasn't making any audible noises that would disturb anyone's day. It really was as if a stronger force had completely engulfed him and he was completely lost within it. In many ways it was mystifying and beautiful.

I wish it would have ended there. It would have made for a lovely afternoon.

After watching the entranced priest I found myself looking around the train to see if anyone else was as captivated by this man as I was. No one. I then started to question if this was what people were talking about when they say, "God spoke to me and he speaks in mysterious ways." Was God actually talking to this guy? More importantly was God talking to me through this guy? I pondered the possibilities for a few minutes. I found myself thinking, "Man God really does speak to people in mysterious ways. This was such a hassle to get me to believe his Word. I have to respect the creativity." I can't say that I had made the decision to go to Confession and tell a priest about all of the weird stuff I've done in the comfort of my own home late at night when it's hard to sleep and I have a good internet connection. But I was beginning to question, "Am I about to start a personal relationship with God?"

As I sat there nervously questioning my core beliefs I felt unbelievably vulnerable. My eyes slowly fell from the priest's mimicking lips right towards his belt...buckle.

Do they have some sort of priest-wear catalogue that shows all the newest trends in Chruch attire? GQ. But that G stands for the Big G.

As I looked at that belt buckle all of my profound existential questions and religious virtues were completely thrown out the window. Are priests allowed to make fashion statements? How much did that belt buckle cost? Priests are supposed to live a frugal lifestyle, one that is free of materialism. Is this where the "Church Fund" is going? When buying the buckle did he first consider getting the one with the fake diamonds in it? Or did he first consider getting one with a Harley-Davidson on it? These are the answers to the questions I truly need, not those useless ones like, "What is the point of my life?"

So as I exited the train I found myself even more confused. Even more questions. If God wants to talk to me he can stop with the accessories. Belt buckles? Not cool. Unless...

This is beyond strange. Is this supposed to be some Pro-Life propaganda? If so maybe this is what the priest should have been wearing.

Actually thought about posting a "missed connection" on craigslist. "Hey, You were on the Brooklyn bound M train at about 2:15pm today. I'm not sure if You were trying to talk to me but You definitely made me think. Is it true? Are You really mysterious? Stop playing games. I want to feel Your warm whispers on my cheek." Then leaving one of those weird smileys that no one understands. I was going to post it, but then I didn't know if it'd be appropriate under the "m4m" category. God isn't a man...and a post like that might just sound a tad bit gay. :\

- Marty