Tightwad.

For the past few months I haven't made up my mind if the person who decided it was OK for women to wear tights as pants should get a high-5 or be high-5'd in the face. Working at a place where a lot of trophy wives and their daughters shop, I find myself constantly around women wearing tights as pants. I almost love every second of it. When I lived in Scotland it was the norm and I never really thought it would have gotten popular here because American girls have no idea how to dress themselves (see: sweatpants). Tights don't really leave too much to the imagination and I used to think that was awesome.

Then I saw a GUY who must have weighed at least (the very least) 250 pounds rocking tights like it was his job. What a job that would be. Actually, I bet someone has the job helping Mr. Fatso get his tights around his fupa. What a job THAT would be. It was one of the most disgusting things I've seen in a long time. Months of successful booty-hawkin' has officially been ruined by one man who thinks showing off every wrinkle of his scrotum is some sort of fashion statement.

I wonder if he hires the same person to get the tights off...