The Age of Advertising.

I "studied" Advertising in college. I was Undecided for 2 years and thought Advertising would give me an outlet to be creative. I was wrong. I ended up learning more about Marketing and Audience Analysis (yea I know everything there is to know about you (perverts/losers) fans of my insecurities) than I did about actually creating advertisements. The few creative classes I had were interesting and even though I always thought my work was better than everyone else's, I constantly needed to remind myself that my competition was orange sorority girls. In other words, who the hell knows if I was actually any good at it?

I've noticed that a lot of my more recent blog posts are rather perverted. And even though I don't work in advertising I never imagined my pervertedness might be useful in the advertising industry. But then I came across this.

What the fuck? Do you think the audience of this advertisement automatically assumes something perverted is going on here? Was that the creators' intention? Of course it was. Whenever you blur anything out, the human mind automatically assumes it's something disgusting. At least mine does. Why else would it be blurred out? Humans are naturally curious. So what did you think when you saw this picture? I thought, "Why is this guy holding a chopped-off penis? Where did he get it from? Is it his? Is it his dad's? Is it soft or is it erect? It's gotta be erect. It looks rather big behind those pixels. If it was that big when soft, it would be like a Pringles can when erect. Who would want that? Do fat girls tend to like Pringle-Can penises? And why is he presenting it to this orange guy? What did he do to deserve this? Well, I guess he looks rather happy to see it. Maybe he's returning it. But why would an orange thing need a human penis? Maybe the guy whose hand is up this puppet's asshole lost it and now he can't communicate naturally with other people so he needs a puppet to express his thoughts and feelings. Wow this penis-presenter is so noble! What a nice guy!"

I told you the human mind was curious. I clicked on the ad. I was intrigued.

The dude started rummaging around in the orange thing's...asshole? I'm not too sure what to call it. And I like how the orange thing is giving this the ol' "Look at this guy"-thumb. If that thing could roll its eyes, I'm sure it would.

Yep. Asshole.

Then he pulled out a midget. Seriously.

Interesting commercial. But I don't even remember what it was about. I just looked at the first screenshot I took. "There's a lot more inside Focus than you would expect." So we have to go digging around inside Doug's ass to find it? And there are midgets hanging out inside the Focus? Do you have to pay extra for that? Then what? Do you have to take care of them? I don't like this one bit.

I've Decided. Advertising can be really stupid sometimes. It's a good thing I have an imagination.