Fuck you.
I got a job at Uniqlo about a month after I moved to New York and at the time I remember feeling excited and thankful. Excited because it was my first job in New York and Thankful because I knew the economy was (is) struggling and any job was a good job. The excitement and any sense of gratitude I had towards Uniqlo quickly turned into bitterness and pure hatred. It started with a German lady who was so self-absorbed and childish (common character traits amongst idiots that are obsessed with FASHION), failed to realize how snobby and out of touch with reality she was (is). So the endless condescending conversations and favoritism got really old really quickly. Face it lady. You're overpaid to move fucking clothes around for a living. Exactly how is that contributing to society? But you know what, if that really is your passion then fine, at least do it with some dignity and humility. If not, please do us all a favor and step in front of the 4, 5, or 6 train (any one will do) on your way home to your Upper East Side extravagant "well-dressed" life.
After I escaped that scheiße-head (that's German for "shithead" for all you scheiße-heads out there) I thought I was free from being talked down to and condescending remarks. Of course I wasn't. Is being treated with a little respect too much to ask? Apparently it is these days. I think it all comes back to the idea (I would call it a fact) that everyone thinks they are way more important than they actually are. No matter how quickly and perfectly you can fold 14 t-shirts, those skills will never be useful for global warming, the widening gap between the rich and poor, or the many inequalities that plague our world. Or maybe it will. That would be pretty cool. Wouldn't it? I fold 3 t-shirts and a little deserving Mexican dude gets an awesome job. Shit, I'd devote my life to folding t-shirts. But of course the world outside of Uniqlo doesn't really work like that. You'd be contributing more to society if instead you folded paper cranes and just wished for a better life for everyone.
One of the biggest problems with working for a big corporation is that it quickly becomes apparent that you are just a cog in the wheel, grinding away until either retirement or an early stress-related death. The better (still not "good") corporations make an attempt to make you feel as if you are part of a family and that you're appreciated. It never really works but the mere attempt can be nice. Uniqlo fails miserably at this. They let you know that you're disposable. They know that if you're unhappy with the job there are 5,000 brown people lined up to take your position. They don't care because they're not in the "caring" business, they are in the clothing business and all that matters in their business is making money.
The thing that I kind of admire (in a sick and twisted way) about Uniqlo is that they are pretty good at squeezing as much work out of people as they can. From the very beginning they continuously tell people that hard work and determination will get you a promotion and a raise. Sure most jobs tell you that, but Uniqlo tells you that over and over and over again until you actually start to believe it. But let's face it, not all of us can be supervisors and managers. Especially if you're brown. If you look at the management staff (minus the Japanese managers) it is a lot like the US government. White, stlyle-less, and full of fucking shit. White people (and a few overprivileged Asian people) bossing around brown people. Sound familiar? Hard work won't get you a promotion. Kissing ass and sucking penis (and apparently being able to eat an entire Crave Case in one sitting) will get you a promotion. (Seriously, the fact that a lot of managers are severely overweight reminds me of the days when being overweight was a status symbol, "Hey I'm fat because I have a good job and I can eat whatever I want. You're skinny because you're poor, uneducated, and starving. No you can't have my leftovers! You must be out of your mind. Oh yea. You are. Because you're so goddamn hungry.")
When a company like Uniqlo posts record profits every single quarter people are convinced, "Whoever is running that company is doing an unbelievable job." And I'm sure those people exist. But they don't exist at Uniqlo in SoHo. When a company makes record sales ($1 million on Black Friday is supposedly the most any big box retail store has ever made in a single day ever) the people at the top get overlooked because, "Hey, the store is making money so they must be doing a good job." Wrong. It just means that the people at the top have the perfect excuse to get away with bullshit. Let's face it, the place could be filled with hillbillies from West Virginia swing-swangin' their penises around filling the air with a toxic smell and a number of STD's, and Uniqlo would still make money. The product sells itself.
Now I'm not saying that the people on the lower rungs of the ladder were useless. I was always impressed and even a bit charmed by the hard work and loyalty that many of my co-workers maintained towards a company who constantly slapped them in the face and told them to, "Deal with it. With two hands." It often reminded me what these people were capable of, but in the end, ended up making me even more bitter with the realization that this is how our world works today. Loyalty, hard work, and honesty don't have a place in the workplace with corporations. Uniqlo was too busy trying to give tests and make new High School rules to realize that there were people committed to making the company run smoother. I'll admit to you I wasn't one of those people. At least not at the end.
So Uniqlo is opening two more stores in New York within the next few months and I'm sure more problems will come up and the Japanese managers will try to maintain the new High Schools with childish rules and an overwhelming amount of apathy. They fail to realize that you can teach Americans about Japanese culture and about Japanese rules, but you can't teach Americans how to be Japanese. We're too set in our ways. A perfect example is the fact that the vast majority of the Managers In Training, who were mostly optimistic kids straight out of college, have quit. If you can't convince fresh, optimistic minds that your company cares and is going to help them succeed through life, who are you going to convince? Middle-aged assholes who have years of bitterness burned into their skin from all the rude customers and complaints they've dealt with the past 15 years at other retail establishments? It ain't likely.
When I sat down to write this tonight, I just wanted to express my feelings of my experience at Uniqlo. It made me think of all the times I wasn't appreciated and how I got talked down to by arrogant fat (often white) people. These things brought a smile to my face. I know I'll never be them. Mostly because I'm too brown to ever pass off as a white guy, and I'm way too superficial and will kill myself before I ever get to be 50-200 lbs overweight, but really because I'm not a delusional asshole. I believe that I'm no more important than the next person. I'm OK with that. The thing that made me really enjoy rehashing all of the old Uniqlo memories is the fact that I thought of all the wonderful people I met. The beautiful personalities. The characters. The Pokemon (I'm looking at you Arjee). The freestyle sessions. The dance moves in the break room. The guys that will never be my boyfriends. The girls that will never be my girlfriends. The girl that is my girlfriend (uh-oh!). Those that left me inspired and taught me many things about myself and about life. And for all of those wonderful things and all of those wonderful people, I am grateful of my time spent at Uniqlo.
Oh and one last thing. Did you see the bumpers on them little brown bitches? I am thankful and grateful for those too. They were amazing!!!
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