Screenshots.

Since I haven't been on here lately. I decided to treat you all to things I've saved on my computer for one reason or another. These are clips of screenshots I've taken. This is the stuff I save. The stupid shit. Obviously.

How does the Internet know we have a mouse problem? And since it knows, why the hell isn't it doing a damn thing about it? I hate technology.

Before I moved to New York, I would see this girl on the Opening Ceremony website and daydream about how lovely she is. I told myself that if I ever found her I'd marry her. Well I've found her and I've stared at her for several long periods of time. She hasn't said "Yes" yet but she also hasn't said "No." So you're sayin' I have a chance.

This guy just cried for exactly 30 minutes. That's art. And that's pathetic.

Here's a perverted idea I had.

Then took it to a whole different level.

Then quickly got back to hating myself. That's the storyline of my life.

Ashton Kutcher isn't cool. And apparently neither are we.

Apparently I told Courtney that these bitches are bitches. They are. Goddamn bitches

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Look at me. Getting an A+ on the Urophobia final exam.

I know my buddy Jan did this just to try to get a free wedding out of it. Here's an idea Jan, don't sign your life away. Or do it. I love listening to some quality complaining.

Where's Josh? Oh there he is. Glowing in the dark.

Do I really look like Al? That's cool. He's a sexy motherfucker. Hmm. Inappropriate name to call him. Oh well.

Goddamnit. Insane homeless people are getting Missed Connections and I'm not. That's starting to sound about right.

You said it Courtney. Actually. I said it. Well. I made you say it.

The Internet knows that these two fat Mexicans need a trip to the mother country after being heroes.

Whistle while you twerk. Preferably out of your "rear end."

I'm in a gang. We're called The Minorities. Our gang colors are all shades of brown. From light to dark to extra crispy. And ignorance is our specialty. Believe that.

Mario thinks somebody is crazy enough to try to kill him. He could sit on half of Chicago if he wanted to. Actually he probably should, too many fucking hillbillies.

Who said Dominicans aren't good at anything? Oh wait. I did. I guess they are good at a few things. Making Josh smileys!!! And baseball. And bothering the shit out of me.