My 2011 OPTIMISM lasted about 4.5 days. Things were going well. I was surrounded by a couple of my best buddies, I had a little bit of money saved up, I had grown comfortable with my insecurities (not really), and I had some funny ideas that I thought I could somehow work into this blog or other things I had been working on. Then, of course, I was quickly reminded that people are shitheads and that misery is my best friend. Yep, I got robbed. Fuckin brown people...Being without a computer for 5 weeks was not fun. Looking for new job opportunities, desperately searching for a life partner through Missed Connections, and updating my Facebook Home page to see if it any of the hot girls from college posted any new slutty pictures, were all impossible. My life was empty.
Then I realized that I had all sorts of time to do things that I had been avoiding. Reading books, writing in my diary (it's only lame if you have a lock on it), and talking shit face to face to actual humans. It was marvelous. I learned about HeLa cells in The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks (highly recommended), I hit on a few girls (which means I stared at them for an unhealthy length of time), and I got some shit done. So I regained my original level of optimism. Not the optimism I had as the clock struck 12 on New Year's Eve, but the level of optimism I'm used to which hovers somewhere around "None."
Luckily, my insurance covered my stolen property and told me that they would reimburse me for almost everything I had "donated" to the Brown People Foundation. Things were finally looking up. So when I opened up my new computer and plugged it into the internet I thought, "The world ain't so bad after all."
Yea.
Fucking.
Right.
It never fucking ends. Does it?
P.S. It's good to be back.
Can't you tell?
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