Occupy Wall Street.

Whatever happened to Occupy Wall Street? I haven't heard anyone mention anything about it in a couple of months. Did they achieve their goal? Do their fathers finally love them? Seriously. What happened? For months I had to read about non-contributing dreadlocked idiots changing "the conversation" about America. Every moron and their mother thought this was going to be the revolution America needed to get back on track. A revolution carried out by sleeping in a park and free loading from (other) guilty white people. That'll show 'em!!!

Now a few months later all I hear is silence. What happened to this huge liberal movement? That's what Occupy Wall Street was supposed to be right? Was (am) I misinformed? Then again, this does play out exactly the way I would expect a liberal movement to...a bunch of fucking pussies calling it quits and kidding themselves into thinking they actually made any sort of real change. Do you know what actually happened to Occupy Wall Street?

It got a little chilly outside!

Where are all the guilty white people at to feed us organic seal sandwiches? Oh wait. It's too cold out here for them.

What the fuck are those disgusting beards for? Of course a little cold weather was enough to shut these people up and force them to go back to their optional shitty lives. (Most of their lives aren't shitty at all. People who have actual shitty lives are busy worrying about real problems and aren't sleeping in parks or sitting in a drum circle. Actually some of them are sleeping in parks, those people are called Homeless.) Could you imagine what the world would be like if everyone was as afraid of the winter as these fuckstains? I can see it now. Americans dug into deep trenches in subzero trenches planning their next attack against the Nazis. "Goddamnit, I can't get rid of these sniffles!" "I know. And the guy bringing around the rations was so rude to me!" "I'm going to have get this crown replaced on one of my teeth because my they're are chattering so much." "Tell me about it, I've gone through like 2 Chap Sticks in the past 2 weeks!" "Maybe we should just wait until the Spring to bring fascism to an end." "Yea. The Jews can wait. I mean, it can't be that bad right?"

If these Occupy Wall Street Revolutionaries (HA!) were around in any other time or in any other country they'd just be considered a big group of homeless people that like talking about Phish and not washing their hair. But instead, since Americans are so fucking fat, lazy, and entitled, they are considered relevant. The ones who were going to combat wealth inequality, the rape of our environment, and all of the other bullshit the "99%" have to deal with. Are they terrified of global warming because winter is their only excuse to go home and hide in their rooms?

I'm sure some of you reading this are saying, "Marty this is totally unfair! People are still out there occupying and trying to make the world a better place." Please. If you want to make a difference start smacking the "1%" around. There aren't that many of them! Find their offices, walk through the door and punch them in the dick or kick them straight in the pussy. Directly in the pussy. Not on the side of it. Get a toe stuck. Or jam finger on a dick punch. That's a start. If you're not willing to do that then shut the fuck up.

And seriously, if these Occupy Wall Street Revolutionaries were the people that we were hoping would make a difference, then I'm glad it got cold out. I'll freeze my fucking ass off and love every second of it.