I'm pretty sure Kelly Ripa lives next door to my job. I saw her TWICE today. That's about twice more than I wanted to see her. The first time I had to get out of the way as some idiot paparazzi snapped a photo of her. The last thing (or is it the first thing? I can never remember) the world needs is me ruining a shitty picture of Kelly. As soon as I stepped into work I regretted not acting like a minority. I really need to be more vigilant and turn up the ignorance when I come across celebrities I don't give a shit about. It just so turns out that when I left work she was outside again. This time she was dolled up and with twenty of her friends who probably can't read. (Not because they're women but because they're stupid.) So I seized the opportunity and yelled, "Kelly Ripa in the muh-fuckin' HOUSE!" Don't worry I added the Kanye-accent to it, which is really just me sounding even more like a Chicagoan. She didn't respond but as I walked across the street I turned around and caught her smiling at me.You know what? I always thought she was a BHB. But I think her head just seems big because she is so skinny. I thought it'd be like an orange on a toothpick but it seemed proportional. Oh well. I hope I've inspired her to yell, "KELLY RIPA IN THE MUH-FUCKIN' HOUSE!" every time she enters a room. Those boring white people won't know what to do. Then again, they never do.
No comments:
Post a Comment