Now I know I do my fair amount of bitching and complaining. Actually I do way more than a "fair" amount of bitching and complaining. Is it because I'm unhappy? Sure. That's part of it. But do I sit around and feel sorry for myself? No way. (That's a lie.) I at least try not to. I'm usually just fed up. And that's why I complain. I'm not claiming to have a life full of serious problems (health (fucking eczema), financial (well I guess I am rather poor and in debt), or erectile dysfunction (you can chip a goddamn tooth on that thing)) but I am constantly bothered. You know why? It's as simple as this. People are the worst. And I love hating them. I truly love it. Am I hater? I mean, if a "hater" is someone who cannot stand ignorance and dishonesty and hillbillies, then right on. Call me what you will. But I don't hate for the sake of hating. Just like I don't act like an asshole just for the sake of acting like an asshole. (Sometimes.) I act like an "asshole" because I'm trying to make you become less of an asshole. That's an asshole thing to say. I'm an asshole even for assuming that I'm somehow less of an asshole than you. But it's fun. And it's funny. So don't mind me. Just let me do my own version of the Dougie. I may not be able to Dougie while laying on the floor, but I can do a mean ass Dougie on the toilet (I don't mean an Ass Dougie, that would be weird). Don't believe me? Text me and I'll invite you over. But after I bust that ass it's your job to clean up the mess.
Sometimes I don't even know what I'm talking about. It's a good thing this guy does.
An Ass Dougie. It always comes back to finding a little brown girl with a big butt.
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